I dontknow whats going on right now . I dont have much energy to go further anymore .
Im sorry if i made you mad ,
im sorry that i am so useless ,
im sorry i cant be perfect ,
im sorry im just not that man that u need ,
im sorry that im not rich enough to buy u everything ,
im sorry that i aint caring enough ,
im sorry that im so forgetful ,
im sorry that sometimes my words hurt you ,
im sorry that im careless ,
im sorry that i dont have enough time for you everytime ,
im sorry that i sometimes might be abit harsh on you ,
im sorry that sometimes i lie to you ,
im sorry that just at home sometimes wishing u could be with me ,
im sorry im a bad boyfriend ,
im sorry i get angry over little things ,
im sorry i got upset over minor things ,
im sorry i irritate you ,
im sorry i didnt gave u the best ,
im sorry that im stubborn sometimes ,
im sorry that i dont trust u sometimes ,
im sorry i fail to make you laugh most of the time ,
im sorry that we are having arguement ,
im sorry that i would neglect ,
im sorry that i would disrespect ,
im sorry for the fact that i wasnt aware ,
im sorry that i didnt let u know that i was proud to call you my girl ,
im sorry that im selfish ..

And im ashamed that i even apologize for being wrong , its a shame on me .


I dontwant this to end , cus it looks so innocent right now . Sigh ..

I would sarcrifice the same for bi . Iloveyou .

Dear diary ..

Nowadays , everynight , i often cry myself to sleep thinking of what to do . Its tired putting on a fake smile to everyone , while actually deep down , you're really tired . Tired of continuing with life . I wanna to run away so much , but theres so much people that i'll miss . My family , my love , my friends and my brothers . I guess i still hvnt gather enough courage to run away , but when its be all enough , and i'll disappear . Running to a place to hide where no one can find me . Don't ask me what happen , cus even every single thing , no matter huge stuffs or small stuffs hurts me like hell . Its enough , really . I had really almost no courage to live my life with a society like this . It sucks you know people . It really does . I know i have a goodgirlf , some nice brothers , caring friends . And a family that loves me the best . But im not good enough for them , i did things to hurt them sometimes . And you would never know the feeling , unless you felt it before . It sucked , knowing they love you so much yet you made them sad. I really dont want to be 'me' anymore . Its too hard to live as 'me' alrdy .


Studying , i know . I've got nothing to complain , as its all for my own good . I blame that im just too lazy to study . Fuck me .
Relationship , i know . Shes a nice girl who cares for me and loves me and gives me the encouragement and everything i need , but im just too insecure , sensitive . Fuck me .
Family , i know . They love me and expect me to be great . They gave me the best , and all they hope was me being a goodboy . But i almost failed everytime and disappointed them but yet they still trust me . Fuck me .

FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME !!!!!!

Doreen here blogging for Andy , haha . Hes currently at home , so he dnthave time to blog .

Mon 29th March 2010
- Lost track of everything , only know i stayed over at bi house . Haha .

Tues 30th March 2010
- Met up with bi at tmall with samantha. Ok , me and samantha ate ljs . then after that bi accompany us go take 81 at inter and bi went off . haha . iloveyou bi .

Wed 31st March 2010
- Didnt met up bi as he went HQ to report . So nothing much to say . :X

Thurs 1st April 2010 (April Fool Day)
- hahaha i april fool bi . Say i vomit blood . Ok , Met bi at tamp mrt station , then we went to kfc and eat . After eating , went to tmall walk walk , check movie timing , then went over to toy'r'us . aft that went over cs to check CS de movie timing . then both we dontwant
so we went over to 100plus(cut short) to drink with yongr , dan , dean and darryl . Drank abit and played with pokercards . Cabbed to bi house with me. Slept aft that.

Friday 2nd April 2010
- Woke up and eat and prepare . Then we went off to toapayoh . i changed and we were off to TPY swimming complex . Just keep swimming swimming swimming ~ okok . The clouds are damn nice i swear . Will upload abit it soon . Its like the sky kena divided into half sia . Haha. Ok , then went to eat , ichiban sushi . HAHA , bi say i'm a hungry ghost . Okay , then went to E!Hub to buy movie tickets for Clash of the Titan , 2.25am de . While waiting , we went to Elias mall for l4d2 . After play finish , then we walked back to E!hub to catch our movie . Damn wtf , not nice . Its a waste of money .!!! After watch , Darryl and aloy went to inter to go home , dean took bus home . Me and bi cabbed home each . Thanks to both of our mama . HAHA , we love our mum :D I love bi too ! Muacks .

Sat 3rd April 2010
- Me and bi not going anywhere , staying at home and chatting on the phone . I love bi alot . Muacks muacks muacks . hehe .


-The End-